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HOW TO BECOME A DRAGON KING

lessons in attracting a dragon queen

NOTE: HOW TO BECOME A DRAGON KING
vs HOW TO BE A DRAGON KING

music is one of the most important things to me.
hollywood understands all great story telling has a soundtrack.
this is mine.

LISTEN TO:
Life and Death
by Paul Cardall
on the album > New Life
while reading this article, on repeat,
# and instead of LOST, you might find your way back home.
# dharmasala initiative
# dragon king joke






RULE # 1 Listening to your queen
try to see the world through her eyes
without any ulterior motive
without any defensiveness
without calling her crazy, shutting her out, or shutting her up
if you do, you will only end up hurting yourself, and the world
(fern gully, avatar)

in ancient egypt it was the traditional role dynamic that the women were the priestesses that received god's information from the ethers, and the men put it into work, into the real world  (this is generally because women are usually more intuitive, and connected to their right brain and emotional power)
- they also are known to see the world in a more wholistic, bigger picture, kind of way
- again, this is a generalization
- there are probably 100+ articles on women's intuition on the internet, find them
- gay, trans, and middlesex, you are included, be whatever you want to be - god made your mind and soul, just as much as your body (you decide)


STEALING ENLIGHTENMENT FROM YOURSELF
In tantra, and kabbalah, and old ancient understanding, men run their energies in their lower chakras, and women in their higher chakras.

This is also why their voices are lower and deeper than a woman's.

As a man, if you don't listen to your queen, or a queen, then you are refusing to see eye to eye with her.

You are literally stealing away from your own ability to raise your energy from the lower chakras into the higher divine realms, chakras.

If you force her to listen to you, instead of listening to her, you are shoving actual energetic shit down her throat,

It is her job to listen to god, not to you. Sorry. Unless you are running higher frequency vibrations, your crown chakra and your third eye is cleaner than hers, but for the most part, it probably is not.

It is probably full of shit, and sex.

Unless you are a man saint: that doesn't rape, or sexually harass, use people, or steal, or underpay, and is more psychic than she ...

(now if you are a genius, like steven spielberg or elon musk, you can teach women, concepts, music, math & technology, without shoving shit down their throats, but if you think you are teaching them soul lessons, and emotional lessons, it is probably fucked up ... if it is a queen, just watching you work, is the best soul lesson that you can give them)



# without calling her a witch (even if she loves it)
# osho was gross and a rapist






RULE # 2 Take Responsibility
for what? you say?
EVERYTHING ...
"it may not be your fault, but it is your responsibility"
KINGS own it
that is what makes them kings

they look at the world around them, and say "how do i be of service"
they look at the world around them, and ask, "what needs to get done"
and they show up, and they do it
and they roll up their sleeves, and they do it
and they look at the world around them, and ask, "how do i make it better"
and they look at the people around them, and ask, "how do i help them"
(kingdom of heaven)

dragon king divine royalty isn't a joke, it is a responsibility
it is the ability to respond
with compassion, and grace, and humility

a dragon king looks at the litter on the street, and says, "that is MY PROBLEM: I have to clean it up"

a dragon king looks at the starving people, and says, "that is MY PROBLEM: I have to feed them"

a dragon king looks at the homeless people on the streets, and says, "that is MY PROBLEM: I have to build them homes"

a dragon king looks at the crazy people in the hospitals, and says "that is MY PROBLEM: How do I heal them"

a dragon king looks at the whales trapped in a box, and says "that is MY PROBLEM: I have to free them"

a dragon king looks at the state of the world, and says "that is MY PROBLEM: I have to save it"

a dragon king looks at the the psychic lost children, and says "that is MY PROBLEM: I have to build 5 Hogwarts .... maybe 10, maybe 20."

a dragon king looks at the rape trade and says "that is MY PROBLEM: I have to train WARRIORS and FBI AGENTS and PSYCHICS to find them, and COMPUTER GEEKS to track them"

a dragon king looks at the droughts, and says, "that is MY PROBLEM: I have to make it rain"

a dragon king looks at the wheel of karma, and says "that is MY PROBLEM: I have to break it"

a dragon king looks at his dragon queen, who hasn't gotten to dance, and says, "that is MY PROBLEM: I have to show up, and I also have to learn"


a dragon king looks at problems, and owns them, even if he is afraid
a dragon king looks at problems, and owns them, even when he is afraid

and instead of running away, he says in total humility "I will own it.. though I do not know the way"
and instead of running away, he just asks in total humility "how"


# a dragon king would lay his life down, for his queen
# a dragon queen would lay her life down, for everything
# octopus totem
# a dragon queen just needs to ask lucy to make it rain







RULE # 3 Self Acceptance and Acceptance of Others
know thyself
if you know your-self you are 50% of the way there
if you do not know your-self, it really hard to know others
knowing who you are, and accepting it, is a state of grace

think kung fu panda
PO knew he sucked at kung fu
but he also knew it was inside of him, and just needed to let it come out
Master Sifu knew he was a shitty angry little master, but he also knew that he was still a master, who took responsibility for the teaching of PO, even when it looked impossible and bleak
and when PO began to accept himself, things changed
and when Sifu began to accept PO, things changed
both of them could then work together to create a better world

you have flaws, trust me ...
i see them, with my Kali Seeing Eye
but, those flaws don't have to be the death of you, if you own them, and accept them
and sometimes what YOU see as flaws, i see as failure
and sometimes what YOU see as flaws, i see as beautiful
and sometimes what YOU see as flaws, i see only potential

and sometimes what YOU see as success, i see the ugliest part of you
and it usually has to do with money
and it usually has to do with how you treat women
and it usually has to do with sex, and dishonor
and it usually has to do with lies
and it usually has to do with you thinking you are getting away with things, while people like me, who give everything to the betterment of the world, suffer

learn to accept yourself
and then, and only then, can we begin to change it or master it
... or harness it

GAYNGELS
i love me some fabulous gay angels that know how to fix things and improve things, and move things forward.
I love them.
1 - they accept themselves, even when others don't
2 - they accept themselves, even when others might want to hurt them because of it
3 - there is nothing wrong with them, except that maybe they don't have enough power in the world ... maybe ....
4 - gayngels may be super stylish, on-it, fabulous, quick-witted and intelligent because they are connecting to the divine feminine waves of the higher psychic realms
(there are some men who can do this, who aren't gay too!)
5 - they are empowered
6 - dragon kings have to accept that, and embrace that
7 - and if any male wants to become a dragon king, they need to accept them-self, and listen to their queen

dragon kings aren't afraid of power
dragon kings aren't afraid of divine feminine power mixing with divine masculine power
dragon kings aren't afraid of diving feminine power ... PERIOD.

the saddest thing is that we should be past this, and i have to write this PERIOD.






RULE # 4 Honesty
you cannot lie
lies hurt others
truth will set you free
even when it hurts
if you lie to yourself about how much you like your soul-less job, or how much you like your shitty friends that bring you down, then your queen will know, and you will lose respect from her

if you lie about your finances, your queen will know
if you lie about your intentions, your queen will know
if you lie about your friends, your queen will know
lie to her, you are disrespecting her
if you disrespect her, you will end up losing her

if you lie to her, about the state of the world, your queen will know, and then publicly shame you with a humbling lesson

# every man who is spiritual or good, and has the audacity to tell me that:
"i am not alone" and then proceeds to not listen to me ... is in fact, a LIAR

# every man who is spiritual or good, and has the audacity to tell me that:
"i am not alone" and then proceeds to not pay me, while i give him teachings and value ... is in fact, a LIAR

# every man who is spiritual or good, and has the audacity to tell me that:
"i am not alone" and then proceeds to continue to let me get raped and abused ... is in fact, a LIAR

if you lie, especially to a queen, you are saying to her that "she doesn't matter"
if you lie, you are telling her that she is, in fact, nothing
which in turn, means that actually YOU ARE NOTHING
which in turn, makes your words mean NOTHING
which in turn, means that you have NO POWER

# dragon kings would rather die than lie
# because they would rather die with dignity and honor, than live in shame


Honesty Part 2
Your relationship can only be as honest and real, as you are honest
If you are lying, your relationship is a sham
If you are false, your relationship is a "shame on you" or "shamu"
If you are not honest with your feelings and your thoughts, your relationship is doomed
If you are deceiving, then your relationship is going to implode

In this case, 90+% of the relationships that are out there, are not actual relationships, they are not real, they are shadows, ghosts

they are cesspools of lies and deceit, that are on the evident path to total destruction








RULE # 5 NO means NO
no rape or sexual harassment allowed
no cat calling
do i really need to educate you on this?
no emotional blackmailing because of blue balls
if she doesn't want to suck your dick, it is because you don't deserve it,
it is also because i told her not to
if she tells you she needs a king, and to call her back when you are ready to grow up, she means it, stop groveling

no means no
you are supposed to listen to your queen remember, or at least a queen
you are supposed to hear her boundaries and support them
and if you don't want to change, then fine, but at least grow up enough, at least, to respect them, and then walk the other way, and stop telling people what a good guy you are

every day you take advantage of her, after she says no, you are raping her
rape isn't sexual
rape is about power
rape doesn't necessarily mean intercourse
it means abuse
taking advantage of something and someone, and not giving back
i guarantee you, that unless you are living a vegan and dark green eco-community lifestyle, you are in fact, raping the planet
what king thinks that that is okay?
do you think jesus would go around raping the planet so he could save a buck? seriously?

i am saying NO
i am saying NO MORE
now, literally, after reading this, you are then completely responsible for EVERY single decision you make in regards to the fate of this planet
and believe me, god might give me dragons, AND a kali-seeing eye
that is not a threat, that is a promise

# a dragon king doesn't need a queen to repeat herself
# a dragon king does not make excuses
# now if you are thinking that all of this is just redundant, then why do you continue to not change?
# from my eye, you continuing to not change, is JUST REDUNDANT
# why are you spending $1000's on christmas caviar and alcohol, when children are starving
# why are you giving jobs to stupid idiots, instead of uplifting talented dragon queens
# answer?
# no means no







RULE # 6 Treating her like a queen
she might not be "your" queen, but she might fucking be someone else's
you better treat her like that
no ghosting
be honest
no cheating
be integrity

if you can treat someone like a queen, even if she isn't yours, your queen will be able to see that, and see good character in you

chivalry is not dead
if chivalry is dead, it is because you killed it
that is your fault
not mine
my fault is letting to act you like swine
no more
i will teach every woman on this planet to not touch you
and give them every reason why they shouldn’t
until you start acting like a king
i will teach every woman to look at you, and go EW!
until you start acting like a king

YOUR CHOICE
YOU DECIDE

i bet you that sherry argov and jk rowling will help me, and many more witches in our bitch-hood

KINGS > learn what not to do

Make Jesus be your low bar. That should be your standard. That should be your John Snow.

PS A Dragon King looks at how other people behave, shakes his head, and says “MY PROBLEM, I need to teach them a lesson.”

If chivalry exists in you and your friends, then it still exists.

(Astral rape, and power struggle sexual harassment is definitely not kingly, nor chivalrous, in any capacity - thanks Gudni Gudnason for another example on how NOT TO BE)


smart asses are not kings
they are court jesters
if you are being a smart ass to a woman, who is only telling you the truth, that is both out of integrity & dishonorable.

name calling
be cleverer than calling your witch girlfriend a cunt for rejecting you
that is low, and doesn’t even warrant a response
you want to challenge her, beat her at chess
try to pop holes in her logic
you will only make her stronger and smarter btw

man-splaining
do i need to woman-splain this concept to you
i had some asshole already write an entire paragraph to me, man-splaining to me, what a FACT was ...
seriously?
i got an A+ in symbolic logic
i am a math guru
fuck off dude
i am going to go starve on the beach for some whales so you can live in shame

negligence
redundant
do you know how many people have read this article and ignored literally every teaching that i have covered
like i wasn't talking to them?
like i wasn't serious?
like every word didn't have 100% gravity?
seriously?
like every sentence wasn't 100% DELIBERATE
in one hear - out the other
jesus
did anyone actually understand "if you can treat someone like a queen, even if she isn't yours, your queen will be able to see that, and see good character in you" was meant that - even if you know i am not "your queen" even if you treat me like one, yours will see that you have good character?

does anyone understand karma here?

YES this is a trap - but it is no worse than the shit traps you have set up for everyone else
you think me starving on the beach is suicide ... it isn't ... it is homicide
that shit is YOUR fault read my dragon queen article
do you hear me now?
am i coming in clear enough? NO probably not ...
lets keep going ...

white knights
thank you to all who showed up, and will continue to ...






RULE # 7 Maturity rules ... always
gandhi did it
jesus kinda did it
other saints do it all the time
i can too

i am a saint, and a dragon queen, this is my job

maturity rules ... always
what is maturity?
isn't that living by virtues
and not lying to yourself
and not making excuses
and not passing the buck

isn't it sitting on the bomb instead of letting someone else do it?
i mean, that is what you all make money off of
i mean, that is what you teach us in the movies you create
isn't that what you teach in the bible? i haven't actually read the bible
i just talk to jesus in the spirit world, like an angel who thinks she is, in FACT, good enough
if you really didn't want someone to act like that, you shouldn't sell it
you shouldn't tell me to do it, and charge me money for that lesson

i am a product of all of you
you should be proud that i would die, to shame everyone, and to free my orca's

VIRTUES
discernment - i know what i am doing
independence - i am the cat
truth - i am honest
self-lessness - i am being self-less and in connection to nature, taking myself out of the equation (do i have to put "tron legacy" here?)
beauty - i love me some jesus, and some children
courage - plenty of that
compassion - that is why i am starving instead of shooting
faith (i would put silence here but that would be sad, because then i would be actually dead) - i have faith to follow jesus across the abyss on the beach where he told me to follow him
wisdom - plenty of WISE DOOM here
connection - i have the crown of a saint

don't you see, i am teaching you the tree of life
REAL KABBALAH

maturity: walking the talk
even when it scares the shit out of you
maturity is teaching by example
so therefore, i will teach instead of preach







RULE # 8 Truth wins ... over positivity always
why i love game of thrones
ned stark
just because you love the guy didn't mean his head didn't get chopped off

coming soon ...
new truth happening now







RULE # 9 Partnership
romance and relationships, they are team work
i don't have to be in one, to understand team work
i have been on a team
and a CIF championship team that ranked #11th in the nation
yes, i said 11th
i know what it takes to win
i know what it takes to twin

all i had to do was spend one weekend with my friend and her two children, to understand that if your relationship isn't a fun team, then you are fucked, and you are also fucking everyone around you, including your children

i had a creative partner once, that shit was fun
briana - i called her huckabreeze, she is on my blog too
she was beautiful
and smart
and fun
we made a great team
we made a great CREATIVE team
which at the end of the day,
is the only way your stupid romantic relationships are going to work

do you know how many people i see NOT have this
do you know how many of those relationships fail? ALL OF THEM
do you know what failure is?
it isn't divorce
divorce is success
failure is living a lie that your marriage doesn't fucking suck
or your relationship doesn't fucking suck

and it doesn't just suck for you ... don't be so self-centered
it sucks for everyone
i have to hear the complaining
and the horrible displaced children traumas
and all your friends secretly hate you
not because they are jealous
but because they ACTUALLY hate you
they hate the lies, and the deception
and the pretending, omg, the pretending, it is exhausting
and the talking shit behind your back ... they love that - because that feels good and honest
they hate that you are going to get angry at them because they are talking shit, behind your back

they hate that you would rather lie, than listen to them
they hate you, because you are exhausting, but not in a good, exercise kinda way
they hate you, because at the end of the day, in 10 years, you are going to break up and go to your friend "why did you let me do that???"
they hate you, trust me

do you know the definition of denial?  DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE I AM LYING
i hate acronyms
but this one is amazing

if i am in denial about anything it is about the fact that all of you are going to let me die

# have fun with that shame
# nothing says "i love you" like letting a saint starve to death on a beach for some whales, especially when you could have helped, especially when you should have taken action

you will make an "excellent" partner
your queen is going to be so fucking proud
especially when she knows that you read this
and just walked away
and in her mind she thinks "is that how he is going to treat me?"
and the big one "is that how he is going to treat my children?"

yummy ... i bet you jesus would let me fucking die ... NO?
i rest my case
you are going to make an EXCELLENT partner

# fail







(sound track change
August's Rhapsody
on August Rush Soundtrack
preferably after time stamp 3:07
though it gets funny when we start talking about Chelsea)

RULE # 10 Taking care of business
excuses begone
you don't get to "retire"
who the fuck gets to retire
when children are being beaten
and whales are dying
and people are starving
retire, then you might as well "roll over"
your queen doesn't retire
your queen will never retire
she might not have money or a "job"
but she has a billion jobs from god to do ... and she is working on it ... always
she will literally walk through hell, beaten and bruised to the bone
she will literally crawl through it, and find lucifer, and get his help
she will literally do it alone
she is a dragon queen because she can ask lucy for help, instead of money
if not lucy, then another dragon, whoever will show up for god
that is what makes her a queen
you don't fucking get to retire
ego has no place here
unless you want to say ego as in ENERGY > GO!!!
go that > way, and that ^ way, and that < way,
and that ✲  way, until this shit is done

ACTIONS
kings roll up their sleeves
they show up
they don't pile on more work for queens to do
they don't give MORE work for queens to read, or look at
they hire people, delegate, break it down, and do work for them, to give them information in a way that won't make the queen topple over in her full capacity

they don't ask for sex when the queen thinks she is going to die
they go: how do i help, NOW
and they do it NOW

this makes me cringe, that i even have to bring this up
but if you think you like or love me at all, and i ask you to tweet chelsea handler
and your response is telling me you want to have sex
all i want to do is vomit
all you have to do is get an account on twitter, and fucking send a tweet to a verified celeb account
and it shouldn't take more than 5-10 minutes
i am disgusted in every way
and everything is on the line
and all i hear are excuses from everyone, even people who consider themselves kings
I WANT TO SCREAM

this is the level of idiocy of the men who are around me
please be better than that
step out of your comfort zone, and be a hero

i have proof, i will be posting it all over the place
GUY SHAMING

UPDATE:
i found one, who didn't so much as give me one ounce of hassle





(sound track change
Where We Are
by Mart Petrie
on Atonement
or WHATEVER YOU WANT)

RULE # 11 Sex
one guy said i got writers block at this sex part
maybe because i was planning my hunger strike and writing the queen article
that kind of self-centered projection about me having writers block is why i didn't have this sex part filled out yet

guys - somebody like me, looks at your self-centered projections as red flags, those people who we do not even want to look at, much less fucking touch, but we will look at, because we have to

WATCH THE ROBERT THE BRUCE MOVIE WITH CHRIS PINE
best sex lesson ever, for a king
sex only happens when there is respect
and love
and admiration
and people are taken care of
that was a classy lesson

queens have work to do, and a lot of responsibility
and if you aren't helping, then why the fuck is she attracted to you
SHE ISN'T !!!  (dalai lama laughs his ass off)

if she has sex with you, and you aren't helping, it is because she is broken
and then after it is done, she rolls over in self-shame
because she knows you don't actually love her
not enough to help
not enough to help NOW

i hate that i have to micromanage and give you the name to the movie because most of you are such lazy assholes, you wouldn't IMDB it yourselves, maybe not even watch it

OUTLAW KING
it is on netflix

you are not entitled to sex
sex is an earned privilege
it is not a right
it is a gift from god
and if you abuse it, you are throwing it out the window

sex is supposed to be about love and not just "getting off"

on another note, some people like to do it just for fun, which is fine
but a king can tell the difference between the different types of people
she will let you know when she is ready
she doesn't need some slimy guy to crawl all over her, and ruin her day

if you have all of that sexually energy stored up, maybe go work out, or put it to use by creating something that is of service to this planet

maybe do what she asks you to do

but in my not so humble opinion, i think every woman is kind of tired about how men treat them with sex

which is sad, because people like me are dying inside to have someone worthy to have sex with ...

hey simon, so ready ...






(sound track change
just go back to Life and Death
or listen to Batman Begins Soundtrack
i don't care .. listen to whatever you want)
steven spielberg will listen to john williams ... # personal growth ... hahahahahaha


RULE # 12 Personal Growth
(but that is just another form of Responsibility)
failure
in the mayan lineage we say every year you have had a pattern, it will take 1 month to break

so if you have been a total douchebag your whole life, and you are 45, then it will take you 4 something years to become "not a douchebag"

i know how to do math

i like this teaching, it helps me set more reasonable expectations with people, especially my students
because then i look at their trajectory and calculate when and where things will happen for them in a reasonable time scale

personal growth is challenging, but i think saying something like that is stupid

you don't tell a baby that it is challenging to learn to walk
you just encourage the growth and transformation, and expect it

i think our society has become so dumbed-down, we don't know anything anymore, and there are no expected personal growth transformations

not counting the self-indulgent mid-life crisis men seem to go through

i am not so sure if other cultures have that mid-life crisis, maybe just our american culture, or WESTERN cultures

so divorced from nature, and what is real and meaningful in life, that they have to cheat, or buy a car, instead of take a class, or feed a starving child

because they need to act out like children

women are not excluded from this behavior, i have seen bridezillas, but i don't know how many women turn 40 and go buy a fucking car when they are already 100k in debt, just to impress younger men.

i think this is a symptom of a much bigger issue

we have totally divorced ourselves from the divine feminine energy, and sacred practices and community


one of the most challenging parts of my life, is that i am almost 35, and i have the wisdom of an enlightened 80 year
and people look at me, like i am nothing, because i am cute, or pretty, so they think that they need to teach me, instead of listen to what i have to say
i don't even know what to do with that sometimes
especially when i do my math, and i see that they are fucking liars and cheaters

personal growth comes when you decide to get over yourself, and see what is really there, instead of what it looks like is there

this happens a lot in recruiting, it is in the book WORK RULES by laslo block
about how often horrible hiring decisions are made, not based on facts, but by how well those people vibed with the interviewers

so i could be screaming the truth at you, or just talking nicely, but unless i agreed with your shit logic, you wouldn't listen to me, because i am not like you, and don't vibe with you

even if i got the job done, and done well, and didn't blow off children's hands in the process

personal growth is about accepting the differences, and still seeking the facts

i have failure at the top of this section, because we are all failures here
if you think personal growth is just about you, you are wrong
it is about your children, and the dolphins, and trees not getting cut down, and tigers not sitting in cages in rich peoples houses
it is about being able to stand up and say, i need help, i want to do these things, and fix these things, and then have the willingness to grow to make it happen
this takes courage and some patience
but really this takes the ability to feel and care

the greatest disease, i am finding out to be true, is the apathy of humans, who then are no longer human, just zombies







RULE # 13 Humility
so i was talking to dragon lady and was telling her about the hunger strike
she goes "yay! i should join you"
instead of "AHHHHHH! that's scary"
that is how you know a dragon lady

she says "you stand for something, or you fall for nothing"
i like her

i then asked her if she wanted add anything about my chapter on humility
she says "guys have none"

she was being honest

i then asked the "kinda gentleman" that i currently staying with, before i go on my hunger strike, about men and humility, and he says "mine is in the refrigerator"

we all laughed

that took a lot of humility just to say that, but he needs more

the dragon lady adds "he is keeping it fresh"

yes, i am with funny people right now

humility is the kinda thing where a smart person tells you something, and you don't run away, and you don't ask why, you usually just obey, you just listen

like 2+2 = 4

you can ask why 2+2=4
and the smart person will tell you why, and show you
they won't even have ego around it

but if you don't even have the humility to obediently listen, then you will be shit outta luck

humility is when you know your place in society
and guys don't know their place

dragon lady says "that's why they don't have any"
humility that is, guys don't have any humility

they spend more time giving excuses than solutions
and more time giving excuses than actions
especially when all the women, come up with the solutions

they think coming home, and bringing a pay check is enough, it is not
and in today's world, we are lucky if they even do that

yet they want all the power, and money, and fame
AND SEX they definitely want the sex, but i rarely see them want to earn it

they think that they are entitled, to all the good things in life,
they are not

they think they are entitled to lie, cheat, steal, and kill
they are not

it takes humility to own this, and to own your shit
it takes humility to look at a dragon queen and own that she is going to burn you alive if you don't change

it takes humility
reverence is what it does take to change
you have to be reverent to people, and things, and life

dragon lady says "that about covers it" but maybe there is more

the opposite of humility is arrogance, thinking you are better than you are

and when you look at the world, and realize you are responsible for everything, it takes humility to process that information, and humility to move forward

which is why i don't really see it happening right now with men ... maybe someday

the TIME IS UP movement didn't even happen till 2017/2018
that is ridiculous

maybe if men were more humble it would have happened in the 80's or 70's with the feminist movements

if i see men continue to be more interested in sex, than science, i am going to vomit

because we are all going to die

out of their narcissism

want proof? check out my sleeping beauty turquoise paradox article, and tell me that i am wrong

please tell me, that i am wrong







RULE # 14 Balance
i asked the dragon lady if she wants to add anything on the chapter on balance, she goes "guys have none of that either"

women seem to be the keepers of balance
they will do 500 things without excuses, without fear
just taking responsibility
being a mom, being a CEO, being whatever it takes, to get the job done

we see KALI or QUAN YIN as female deities with many arms, because that is representing that they will have to master EVERYTHING, or they are dead
or their children die
or the company dies
or the planet dies
or their spirit dies

they have many hands, many arms, many disciplines
many tasks

you don't see depictions of male deities with many arms, not usually

men are supposed help keep the queen in balance, so they don't topple over
men are supposed to be there for support and stability
men are supposed to be an anchor so the queen can fly

i rarely see that

i see men being anchors, that put women into boxes, to control them
or i see men cower, at the powerful goddess women, who take on all the work, and don't even lift a finger to help them

rarely do i see it be a team, not an equal one ... anyway

men are suppose to be the support,
and maybe the guidance, if they do the psychic and spiritual cleansing that it would take to be noble

but even then, if that was the case, the queen and the king would probably be on the same page ... in balance







RULE # 15 Health (again responsibility)
your relationship can only be as healthy as you are
if you are not healthy, it is a reflection of you, your mind, and your soul
you are responsible for your health

YOU
not doctors
not governments
not anyone

YOU are responsible for your health
and for the most part, it is basic

eat well and exercise
get sleep
stop doing drugs and drinking (or just do it lightly)
juice
vegetable juice
meditation

yes, people are sick here, people seem to be sick EVERYWHERE
but really how many of those people eat a plant-based diet,
a more vegan diet, (not all vegan),
take vegetable juice daily,
and have a light work-out as part of their routine?

i see more people eating shit, and not exercising,
and not consistently putting good and natural things into their bodies,
and then take $100's on pills/medications, that have horrible side effects

and then complain to everyone about being sick all the time

health can be basic

now, when you do those things consistently, and are still sick, then going to a doctor, might actually heal you

going to a shaman, might get her to pop tumors out of you

because you have created an excellent baseline of HEALTH
a lifestyle of HEALTH
a value system of HEALTH

instead of taking a pill, and creating a dependence on a pill that would only act as a bandaid

i am not against pills
they can be useful

but there is a difference between chronic and acute health problems
and pills are great for acute problems
and seem to only be bandaids for chronic ones

bandaids because they do not cure, but they do cover shit up

this is not new, this is fucking basic, and you can find it anywhere and everywhere

if you want to complain about your relationship not being healthy, maybe you should start looking at yourself ...







RULE # 16 Dragons
if you can't get these top values down, from the chapters above, the dragons are only going to fuck you
dragons are real
they are "spirit" beings
like devas
or faeries

that live on the other side of the "veil"
and on the other side of the "veil" they aren't just spirit
they are only spirit from our POV

they will train you
open gateways
teach you magick
but really, they will fuck you if you are no good
they are agents of god's justice
and if you are selfish, or not of service to god, or the planet, they will trick you, trap you, and demolish you

like GOT
think when Dany gives her dragon to anyone, and just says Dracarys and her dragons burn the assholes who didn't understand that the dragons were loyal to her

if you don't get loyalty, nobility, honor, wisdom
then you don't get dragons

it is literally that simple

i know a man i called chuck chuck, who used to say "easy & simple are not synonymous"
so it might not be easy, but it is simple

they will help you get courage
they will train you, if you are worthy
they will test you
even to the death

dragons have gravity
they are not to be "played" with, "toyed" with, or "used"

when you give your life to them, then you will give your life to them
and they will either lift you up, or burn you

think the movie "BRIGHT" with the wand
you are either worthy, or you aren't

that simple

and if you don't get a dragon, then bend the knee







RULE # 17 Magick
it is almost futile and vain for me to talk about magick right now
you all know why
the idea that we be given magick is absurd
we can't even unify to save some whales
there are a few, that dedicate their entire existence to growth and service, these people will always be given magick

just like dragons, if you aren't trained correctly, magick will blow up in your face

we need to begin to come together to even create it
the more people, with power, the more people with light, in general, that come together, the more likely we will be on the path of creating a real hogwarts

in the shaman lineage, we had classes of over twenty people to learn the beginning fundamentals of teleportation

this class was called Dimensional Mastery

there is another class called Divine Intervention
where a miniature teleportation happens with diseased cells, tumors, and other de-vital energies, which are hosted in the human body, are then teleported to OUTSIDE the human body

actual teleportation

this is documented of course
this lineage is not stupid, and has pictures and X-ray scans, etc
i even believe they have video

but really, they have living people who are evidence
YOU KNOW, unless they all have lied to me,
ONE EXAMPLE
a students husband having cancer in his brain, and then NOT having cancer in his brain after these energetic magick sessions

my magick is exorcisms and water spikes, and this is just me, alone, with my spirit dragons
i would say hiding this is necessary, but i already posted the evidence on my blog over a month ago







RULE # 18 Soul decision
it is really easy to make decisions when you are aligned with your soul
sometimes easier when you are aligned with your heart
there is a difference, it is nuanced, and it is easier to determine that difference the more advanced you are

like right now, my heart is broken, and i am in extreme emotional pain
because of everything

but i can still speak from my soul, and it is still honest, and wise
even when my heart is aching
even when my heart just says FUCK ALL OF THIS

i can follow my heart, that is easy, at least for me
i think my soul is challenging
i think my soul knows things, that my heart is terrified of
my heart really likes to live in the light
but my soul understands both
my soul understands both the light, and the dark

Starr likes to talk about the difference of LIGHT WORK and SOUL WORK
it is easy to be a hippy spiritualist, doing LIGHT WORK
but it is challenging to do SOUL WORK
to step into your shadows

one of my greatest loves are the actors in hollywood, who do this in their process
it is why i have respect for them
it is also why, they have the most potential to do magick, in my opinion
because they are already kind of doing it

at least the good ones

John Ruskin was an actor teacher of mine
he taught the Meisner method, at his school at the santa monica airport
i don't know if he liked me, but i sill saw him, and what he was trying to teach
he talked about Elenora Duse and how she owned this process

i had one wierdo friend in this class, an OLD soul
she knew that this process was a shamanic healing
she knew that we were reading each other's auras while doing repetition circles
she knew

soul work is going into the dark, doesn't matter if you are afraid, or not
it is going into the dark, the unknown, in total submission and hoping you come out the other end

(if anyone has heard sarah mclachlan's song sweet surrender, then you are on the right path)

this is also kabbalah
the crossing of the abyss

this is the hero's journey







RULE # 19 The Actionable NOW

the now is a lot of fun
if you know how to do it

it takes walking into the unknown, to be able to truly live in the now
instead of our safety nets we like to keep around

action needs to happen now
that takes courage
and when you take that action
and step into that courage
you disappear
into the work
into the now
you just disappear
like it is nothing

and an entire day can fly by, and you got feel alive
you got to have light flowing into you
i call it divine fire
some people call it passion

to me it is all the same thing

getting lost in your passions, are awesome
getting lost in your passions that are in service is even better
because once the light goes away
once that fire fades
there is an after glow that sticks around
where you feel good about yourself, and what you did
and what you accomplished

and it is not just you
it is the other people that reinforce it for you
they come to you in gratitude for helping them
that after glow sticks around

because you decided to be in the NOW
and be of service in the NOW
and not just send "thoughts and prayers"

the women who started saying FUCK YOU to the people who sent "thoughts and prayers" to them, when their children died, from being shot with guns, i understand them

they don't want thoughts and prayers
they want money, action, activity, and a BOOMING VOICE to stand up for them
to change things NOW

they want kings and queens that say, ENOUGH we are taking responsibility and taking ACTION now







RULE # 20 Love
what is love
i am pretty sure it isn't rotting in a box
i am pretty sure it isn't a prison

i am pretty sure it isn't imprisoning others, unless they are harming the greater good
men preach to me a lot about love
but the ones who seem to speak the loudest, rarely i have seen their actions say it too

they talk about love, but i am sure they are mostly talking about sex
and emotional bonds, and infatuation

i can see when men are really in love
versus, hanging out the with the girl who is second choice

those men will do ANYTHING for those women
ANYTHING

i am of course talking about the men who are really in love, with their "first choice" girl

this became evident in the Why Men Marry Bitches book, but also in the He Is Just Not That Into You book

there is a sense of freedom in realizing that he isn't into you
then it doesn't matter if you become a fucking bitch

it doesn't matter if you spew dragon fire in his face (i am talking about queens here)
 
because he doesn't love you
and it is fine if he is gone, out of your life

as a king, you should be honest about your feelings with other women
and if you don't love them

what does it even mean to love???

i take for granted this idea, because to me it is obvious
i have a connection to spirit and god's love that i don't know how many people feel

as a psychic spiritualist, i see the heart chakra glow, or see it feel pain
when it comes to love
but it is also the connection of the third-eye,
where you can connect to that other person, your love, from your soul,
because they are your soul-mate

this is the LOVERS card or the TWO OF CUPS
both of them are in the THRID-EYE chakra
(the lovers card connects the third-eye chakra to the heart chakra)
# take kabbalah

you not only feel love in your heart
but you connect eye to eye
you "see" each other
you understand each other
Avatar (like Jake Sully and Neytiri)
Avatar was beautiful

it was love
it was love that created that movie
however many people it fucked or under-payed, i know there is a shadow side to that movie, but it was also a miracle

love is about seeing
love is about being there, and seeing the other person
for who they are, for what they believe in
and appreciate it
and honor it
and LOVE it

we should be so lucky to have people like that in our lives

i spend my life training my students to see
to see beyond what they think is there
and to see peoples souls

to see the beauty
or the potential beauty

i see spirit
i spend my life trying to teach other people to see it too

Starr saw me
good and bad
but at least she saw me
to me, that was love
to finally be SEEN

i didn't have to tell her that i was going to be a master, she told me, because she saw me
i didn't have to tell her about dragons, because she told me, because she saw me
we had an EYE to EYE connection

so many people go their whole lives, not being seen
even if they are famous, or successful, or not
one of my favorite things being a psychic, is seeing them
and telling them something beautiful i see about them
many times this makes people cry
because it was hidden, and no-one else saw it in them
and they finally felt, SEEN

kings see people
that is a love






RULE # 21 The future
i am pretty sure avatar goes here
both of them
air-bender and the james cameron movie

and i say that because that is my vision for earth, pandora and magick

one of the greatest failures of hollywood is projecting a future where magick and technology are not synonymous

where we are bound to a technological hell
but are conveniently missing the DNA evolution of humans into the magick realms

# EPIC FAIL

we are getting psychic, and spiritual, and i am in teleportation classes
and hollywood has ignored most of this process
shaman work, spiritual and human evolution
what it would actually take to do this
the work, the discipline

they create super hero movies, but fail to create the work it takes to evolve the DNA
they create interstellar, but don't add magick to it

they fail to add psychics to it
they fail to add spirit or god to it
and i don't say god in a religious way
i say it as a collective unified consciousness kind of way

why are we talking about space ships, when we can't even clean our ocean

they separate harry potter from interstellar
like we aren't going to have both at the same time
and if we have both, why the fuck are we imprisioned into a tech nightmare that rapes the planet

i saw the magick in intersellar
but i also saw the more truthful reality in the movie serenity and River
because River is my reality
a girl who is scared, and psychic, and schizophrenic at the same time
and can do magick
and can run 5 miles with 5 lbs weights in her hands, on the beach, like it is nothing
and can mutate her dna at will
i am a freak
and i don't have a hogwarts to go to
i don't have a professor X to see me
i had Starr
and thank god for my students
because they keep me sane
and thank god for INGE, for having done enough shadow work, she can handle my truth
i tell her i talk to dragons, she goes "they are the keepers of words"
it is beautiful
she gives me an inch, so i can fly

...
i see the new godzilla movie, why the fuck is that even being made
what is the purpose that that serves
i see my lucifer (tootless) up against the 3 GOT dragons in one
and i got it, WHY?

how much money and time did that waste
do we really need that right now
and i don't have an answer for that

this is the ART for ART'S SAKE zen riddle
but i think it is important that we ask that question
what is the service that this has on the planet
what is the impact that it creates

we talk about video games controlling kids brains
but hollywood creates the movies that do the same thing
and they are beginning to become one
elijah wood is spyro
and my neighbor polly is the now the spider in LOTR video game

is this the direction we want to go in?

i don't know
i love creativity
i love it
i love food too
i also know, that if i eat too much shit, then my body falls apart
and it seems to be, unless steven spielberg is creating something, or something like Parenthood is created, there is A LOT of vanity and futility in hollywood

and i am not talking about race
i am talking about soul lessons
race needs to be dealt with too
i know

but what most of hollywood is doing is waste and money going down the drain

i loved working at Fender Musical Instruments Company
they had this thing called an apprenticeship
because they believe in high quality
and they don't want to produce shit
so their custom builders have to study and pass tests i believe
before they are allowed to build
just like me, being Starr's apprentice
it takes time to build something of quality
and quality lasts
and it doesn't waste
and it doesn't waste a lot

i feel steven spielberg is kinda ashamed that he hasn't said enough, because i know he believes in this, this is why i want him to make a hogwarts for art and film students, after they graduate, but maybe even before ... i hope he is healthy enough to

i love using movies to teach my kabbalah classes
i don't know how many teachers do that
most people don't even know what kabbalah is, they just know that madonna is into it
but the deeper i go, into kabbalah, it is the evolution and mutation of our dna
TO RECEIVE is what it translates to
to me, that means, to receive upgrades
to receive genetic upgrades

...

HERE IS MY LIST in case you are wondering:
if you don't know kabbalah and the tree of life, don't worry, madonna can explain it to you
or i can be your teacher

MALKUTH Class 1
Avatar The Last Airbender
The Legend of Korra
Hook
Secret Life of Walter Mitty

YESOD Class 2
Odd Thomas
Vanilla Sky
What Dreams May Come
Inception
Harry Potter

HOD Class 3
Matrix
Now You See Me
Divergent
Insurgent
After the Dark
Wall-E
Emoji
Eddie The Eagle
(Joe Dispensa - rewriting your brain) - youtube

NETZACH Class 4
Avatar
Life of Pie
Home
Inside Out
Tron
Words and Pictures
Peter Pan - Live action
Petes Dragon
Song of The Sea
Terabithia
Secret of Kells
Spirited Away
Marry Poppins
Sorcerers Apprentice
Fern Gully
The Lorax
Where The Wild Things Are
Elusive creative genius, elizabeth gilbert - youtube
Healing time John Denver - youtube
Dan barber, fell in love fish - youtube
Dan barber, goose whisperer - youtube
Charlottes Web

TIPHARETH Class 5
Patch Adams
Tinker Bell Series (All Tinker Bell Movies)
Rudy

GEBURAH Class 6
How To Train Your Dragon 1 / 2 / Series
Kill Bill
Red Cliff
Man of Thai Chi
Seven Samurai
Hunger Games
Man From Nowhere
Man on Fire
Crouching Tiger
Hero
Hell Boy
V for Vendetta
Last Knight
Wonder Woman
Kung Fu Panda
wolves create rivers - youtube
(i would put GOT here too but GOT is the whole tree)

CHESED Class 7
Chocolate
Le Miserable
Lost City of Valerian

DAATH Class 8
Thor
Big Hero Six
Maze Runner
(Videos on Sound crystallization) - Geometries - youtube

BINAH Class 9
I am not your Guru
Maleficent
Live Die Repeat
Pans Labyrinth
Point Break - new one
Black Swan

CHOKMAN Class 10
Alice Thought the Looking Glass
Oblivion
Lord of the Rings
The Hobbit
Kubo
Lucy (could be Binah too)
Interstellar

KETHER Class 11
Finding Dory
Hook
Saint Ralph
Secret Life of Walter Mitty

FINAL WEEKEND Class 12 (3 day finally)
Stardust
Pacific Rim
Upside Down
Gaurdians of the Galaxy 1



And then POST KABBALAH:
MOANA


(whole tree)
XMEN
Game of Thrones
Mary Poppins
Nanny McPhee
Mrs Peregrins (also binah)
Sense8
Fifth Element (but also geburah)

THE VIELS
Star-Wars
(this is fucked > this is a fucked teaching, i don't even want to teach this)
this shit scares me

...

you can hate me all you want but i am a product of hollywood, and so are my kabbalah students

everytime i teach the class, it gets better, and deeper, and more on point
and all of hollywood and their movies help me, to change the world
to create better people
to teach soul lessons
to illustrate them

there is a lot future here
a lot of potential to do great good
we don't have to worry about the harm, the harm is done
we can change it towards a GREAT future

i wanted to put wild on that list, but it didn't work
that movie didn't work
cherly strayed worked, but the movie didn't

obvi the movies aren't the whole class, but they sure add to it
i tell my students to watch them, as homework
many students don't even want to watch anything
they think i am joking
because i am a spiritual teacher
and they think that hollywood is filled with shit
and LIARS and HYPOCRITES
and i do too, and i see potential for a rebirth
and i also see artists, that i love, and are my people
even if they shit on me
and the homeless guy with no legs who cleans the stars

and he cleans the stars, because he respects them
and to me it is the saddest thing in the world

the future
we have a chance ... we have a chance

hollywood is the throat chakra to the world
we have a chance







RULE # 22 Keep Good Company
your friends are a reflection of you
so if you have friends that lie, cheat, steal, and treat women horribly
that is what your queen will think you are


who you spend your time with, they are your family
i spend a lot of time with etheric dragons
but i also spend a lot of time with celebrities, via the astral world
some i like more than others
i talk to you guys, i feel you, i connect
you tell me to do things, write things, that are smart
i am a fucking freak

but i keep good company

Kings keep great company
that is a high bar
good company is good enough

i am waiting for good company to show up for me
starr used to test me
sometimes i could handle it
sometimes not
even when she was a dragon lady
i knew she loved me
but sometimes i couldn't take it
i would probably still be at starr's if art didn't call me a murderer
starr didn't know this but her letting art call me a murderer for a car accident that wasn't even my fault, was something like what my father did to me, with my step-mother

and part of the reason i haven't been back to see starr since
i don't like betrayal, and that felt like betrayal

kings don't betray, not like that
they show up, and don't let innocent people be called a murderer

kings don't let their wives go fucking crazy on people
there is a deeper teaching here, about Shiva and Kali

Kali was sent to earth to destroy all the demons, to save people
but in her rage, and warrior-ness, she started to slay innocent ones
it got to the point where Shiva had to come down to earth
and lay prostrate across Kali's path of destruction
and in his submission, his "bending the knee" calmed Kali the fuck down

because she knew it would be okay

WHY THE FUCK HAVE I NOT SEEN THAT MOVIE ???







RULE #23 THE HERO'S CLAUSE
final rule
believe in yourself
first and foremost, you have to believe in yourself
you have to be crazy enough to believe in yourself
hero's and heroines believe in themselves
they believe that they can get the job done
and they do it

they will accomplish the impossible, because they can
because divine fate will show them the way
because they are just stepping up, in belief, in saying "i will show up for god"
"i will show up for what is right and good in life"
"i will show up for earth"
"i will show up"

80% of the work, is just showing up


princess bride
for every man who thinks that argumentation and challenging the requests of your queen is attractive to her, you are wrong

you obviously have not watched the movie princess bride

"As You Wish"

do I need to say more
if she is your princess buttercup
and you give her excuses instead of saying "as you wish"
and instead of just being  "as you wish"
then you are no king
westley would even fall to the death, saying "as you wish"

remember queens don't abuse this power
they use it for global service
and taking care of the planet
and feeding the children
and taking care of the animals

they don't go "BUY ME 10 million dollars in diamonds!!!"
unless it is going to pay for hogwarts
and the evolution of humanity
unless it is going to stop wars and start service

...

i hate that i have to bring this up
HACKSAW RIDGE
all you hollywood fuckers want to make movies and money off of people who believe in god, but you don't care to save the female saint starving on the fucking beach for some whales?

SHAME ON YOU







THE MISSING LINK - Gratitude
for every miracle you need to have gratitude

some people write, thanking me for this article
a lot of people really like it
others don't, that is okay, they are usually trolls
why is it, that the classy guys vibe with this article?
and the guys that are demons call me a "foul witch" instead?
i find it interesting

in the last couple weeks, a lot of decent men, have come forward
they have been hiding in the shadows, and appreciated a platform to spring forward on
one of these men, contacted me, and told me this article was missing something
he said it was missing a section on gratitude
and how men should be grateful for "their queen"

he said this, in apologetic tone
like he was un-worthy of delivering this amazing message to me
of course he wasn't

another one, corrected my spelling of "gayngels" because i had it wrong,
also in an apologetic tone
he said  "i apologize, if it is not my place"
i sit and wonder, why if they are accurate, and intelligent, would they feel like it wasn't their place, to correct me?
is our society so divorced from truth, that we no longer see it as valuable?

i always respond to people, i even respond to the trolls
most of the time, i can just scare them away with the truth
it is important for me to not run away, and to stand in the fire, and test my knowledge and strength, and get better

i sometimes come back with wippy comments, or smart-assness,
but only to the smart-asses

the decent men are afraid of "correcting" me, even if they are factually and evidently right ... which begs the question, are they like that with everything else in life?

do they have value, and intelligence, that isn't being nurtured, and is ignored?
are they in a job, where they aren't allowed to "correct" the boss?
because it is IMPOLITE or not PC?

probably
but i respond with gratitude, because their intelligence just made my website better

the failure of all the celebs not responding to my call, is they haven't learned this lesson
they can't aikido me
they have no roots
they have no gratitude
they have no reverence
so to me, they have no real power
just the illusion of it
they have no RESPONSE ABILITY
they cannot respond to me at all

jesus would walk away from me, and go save my whales
jesus would go make me money, and help me build a hogwarts
(if eddie is reading this: a REAL MAGICKAL hogwarts)
he wouldn't ignore me, he would go "got it, on my to do list!"
jesus wouldn't ignore
or jesus would ignore and go "got it, i see you, i will find a way to take care of it"
jesus wouldn't turn the other cheek, unless it was against an insult, not intelligence
jesus wouldn't just "look away"

i have been contacted by a native american indigenous man
who is beginning to teach me about the sacred traditions of his people
he knows that i know most of it already, he says it in the emails he sends
but i still like hearing it anyway
he told me that his mother impressed him, once upon a time "that it is rare to find a warrior woman with a strong sprit" - i am paraphrasing of course
he has the energy of a dignified proud warrior, it is beautiful and impressive

i have been repressing this warrior side of myself, my whole life
i am dying inside to let it out
i watch movies like LOTR and GOT and go "that is for me"
not the acting and the fake hollywood shit
but the adventure
not the dress up, but the heroic fire flowing through the body, ready for war
ready to make shit happen
ready to change things
people think that this hunger strike is a big deal, to me, maybe a little
see i have been training my whole life for this
so once i succeed here, there is only bigger things down the line

if you don't like me, be warned, you might be seeing me EVERYWHERE

GRATITUDE
for every miracle there needs to be gratitude
gratitude is the miracle juice of the universe

i am grateful for jesus
i am not religious at all
jesus was a master, is a master

one of my favorite experiences in the last 10 years, is that sometimes i can hear jesus
and i make a connection with him, in the ethers
when i REALLY do this, i see a license plate that says FIGHTON
the second time, i saw a license plate that said FIGHTN2

like "keep going" "keep fighting"

i had an asshole man who said he was psychic,
who has NO earth star connection,
tell me today to "not do" the hunger strike
that it wasn't going to go my way
and that it was going to suck

i didn't like that guy at all, although i was "nice" to him, "pleasant"
he also told me that hillary and bill clinton were currently being imprisoned in guantanamo right now, apparently since december ...
i just looked online and it looks like hillary just spoke at reproductive health act 2019 thing on Jan 7 in NYC, we can probably verify her appearance

is this guy crazy? or am i?
i don't even know what is true anymore


so i consult my tarot deck instead
I ASK ABOUT MY HUNGER STRIKE
i go through my WHOLE DECK and i pull ONE card out
and it is the 6 of Wands
VICTORY

the name of the card is VICTORY

it is why i trust my tarot deck more than any fucking man

this older man called me "pretty"
and referred to dragons as "reptiles"

my favorite connection with jesus was this:
i was having a spirit mediation, like a vision quest
and i asked jesus, in fear, and cowardice, mostly out of rejection
"let me be a keeper of dragons"
and he hands them to me, he hands me the "key"
and says HERE YOU GO
like it was NOTHING
i have had so many meditations that didn't go that easy, so this was funny
now i am beginning to understand my role
I am a Keeper of Dragons

i will work with my new magick name now
"girl who walks with dragons"
and i will stick my crow feather in my pocket



# i listened to almost every episode of tom leykis, and this is what it did
# every action, creates and equal or opposite reaction
# i also wrote a paper on him in college, for my madonna/whore english class, i emailed him, saying see you in the future, he responded
# HOW TO BE A DRAGON QUEEN: ARTICLE LIVE ...
# one of the best things about me being such a bitch: i understand what it would take, to become my mate

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