there are no more words ... except this is why ...
and maybe buffoons, all of them
”do you hear me now?”
JAN 28 2019 tHE STAR
"and NOTHING ELSE MATTERS..."
1728 the master cube you would have to ask me, to understand that reference or be in advanced kabbalah
... happy 38th bday elijah wood i wish you would get over yourself .... yes, i downloaded that pun, years before i was forced to read it, on a shitty magazine cover
i know this post is mega early, but i have work to do and i have the energy now so i don't take that for granted
sometimes you know that the work is done when you have nothing left to paint when the stories begin ... but the words fall away and fade into the ethers because they no longer have gravity because they no longer need to be said because the seeds have been planted and sewn ...
now, we sit in silence the calm before the storm in the great crossing of the abyss ... to transcendence
because I think that that Miyazaki video says it all he is not allowed to feed me juice he is already on the right side of this equation and if you really are thick, watch Princess Mononoke or just Ponyo ... it is funny, the american actors, that thrive on his movies, still don't get it ...
SOUND OF SILENCE by Disturbed &
NOTHING ELSE MATTERS (Bonus Track) by Apocalyptica on the album Plays Metallica By Four Cellos
been listening to it all night long ...
because nothing else matters ...
this isn't just for free willy this is for free will
JAN 27 2019 tHE TOWER ... GOD AND COFFEE
there is a red mini cooper outside and on the license plate it says Door2 the only person who might understand that sign is sitting 2 miles away from me
but that isn't how i wish to begin this entry
a friend of mine passed today ... black crows and ravens to Joanna and grandmother yew too i wish you well, on the astral realm journey and i know you are in great hands with them
Joanna was salty, like lady Olena and like Grandmother Yew she used to make fun of the way I made coffee she complained about it every time i don't think I could ever make it right for her this was in Arkansas at the Dome I bet Elaine misses her and Starr too maybe Art ... Joanna was a complainer, a good one, and a complainer and she was a tough cookie Elaine can yell at me to take this down, but maybe this is my homage to Joanna the woman who said my coffee was like TAR peace and humor be with you as you ascend into the dark abyss to be reborn anew ...
i just read an email from NYC hipster guy who was at a hospital with his mom this quote stuck out, and I find it to be the pattern I am dealing with in most people "Even if they know the system is broken very few step out of their pre-programmed directives." enough said
... so simon ... simon says, i should stop attacking celebrities again !!! I think he likes to protect me, because he got all weird today and wants this event to go well (he also says the person he talks to on the phone is very different than the person who he reads online, i agree, i am much scarier on here, than in person ...)
I am pretty sure that he is referring to the don’t bite the hand that feeds you, old wisdom the problem is, is that they aren’t feeding me and that is why I am biting I am hungry One of my girlfriends would say "I am hangry"
So let’s keep an open mind here ... Those whales are like my babies And I won’t leave them behind Even if everyone else does And like Mother Nature, like an angry mama bear I will respond accordingly My dragon will match your dragon ... And my nice will match your nice ... don't expect anything more ...
because my nice will not match your vanity, nor your apathy, nor your lazy, nor your late, nor your reptile my reptile will this teaching is in my dragon queen article you don’t see Simon telling me “hey be nice to me” because I am nice to him because he cares about me ...
so ... I am also being instructed to not go on 10 mile hikes because I have lost too much weight already And I wanted to walk to the pier but the ocean is in the way ...
I have only gotten there once It was an 8 mile magick excursion in winter in the cold and wet and carrying my magick crystal gift that I was going to give Starr for Xmas
I wonder ... the connections the synchronicities
the sun is beating down on me now ... but I am hungry and tired ... finally
but i think i might go see my bunnies tonight you know, to add a couple miles to my log
these are my fairy houses, that I refer to and the dolphins I run past on my run/walks, when I used to live here It says “WE” like unity consciousness Or “3W” Depending on the perspective Remember thedress phenomenon? I was there that day at BuzzFeed Everyone was going crazy They kept arguing “white gold” “Blue black” And getting angry at each other It was a mad house And I sat there shaking my head Playing 2048 Getting ready to teach people yoga Scheming ...
The funny thing was, from one angle I saw the white gold dress, and from the other angel I saw the blue black
So where most people would argue one vs the other I actually saw the whole spectrum I didn’t hear anyone talk about that Just fighting amongst each other instead
You know, a Kali Seeing Eye, is what I strive for ...
My press agent said my body was eating itself I have done this in the past But the weight is falling off of me And I have energy Because spirit is giving me it
Because even on 500 kcal/day diets I was still exhausted back then wasted away always starving, always tired always focused on food
i have dropped 10 lbs probably since december 1 like it is nothing
So no matter what, I have already won I have already broken through some kind of physical barrier Something I didn’t know I could do I mean I was a kid with eating disorders like every other white girl out here I remember what it was like Feeling sick and tired all the time Eating rice cakes And egg whites And going out of my mind
And then the spirit stuff happened And liver cleanses And every eating disorder went away Maybe because I actually had nutrition in my body
And maybe that is why I am doing so well now that and coffee Even though I have probably dropped another 5 lbs and my body is eating itself ... It is eating nutritious energy And light Instead of toxic poison Because I have detoxed I don’t know ...
But when I had my Skype With paul, my press rep, I could see the skin starting to hang off my cheeks And I knew, this has begun but i don't feel it like i used to
This is no gandhi style hunger strike Nor prison style strike This is something else I am something else And I think the rules are different here And I don’t even know what they are But there seem to be X factors involved nutrition in my cells and technology at my finger tips
So on my vain attempt at burning more calories today I was met at the ocean shoreline by the dolphins They are quite beautiful They were in the shallows this time Which is rare I could have run out to swim with them If I had more energy
they were like 30 feet away, again rare Everyone was gawking at them With their iPhones Taking shitty pictures ... Where you can’t even see the dolphin just a spot, a speck, in the water ... Instead of just appreciating that they were there Like a total lack of gratitude for their existence
And instead, becoming a mindless servant of selfishness and exploitation We can’t even be with nature anymore Not in a natural way
I don’t really like taking pictures anymore But I will do it for record keeping and story telling For a cause And celebrity tour guides That is my plug today Yes I learn ...
But I have a really good story about the time I swam with dolphins Because to me, I chose it, but they also had the choice to choose it back
And they did ... In the wild
Now before I relay it to you I want to make one point clear And to put simon's beautifully educated mind at ease
No matter who you are, or what you do You are responsible for this planet and the world we live in today
And you are responsible ... just as much FOR YOUR IN-ACTION as you are for your actions ...
You are just as responsible for what you Don’t do as you are, for what you actively do, do
Good and bad :)
You are just as responsible for not taking the shitty picture of a dolphin As you are for not standing up for them
And just like in dragon magick
Both the liar and the witness will share the same social punishment The active party and the passive one.
So the day I saw the couple, hurting the sand crabs, and didn’t yell at them like a mama to put them back, that is my fault i have that Karma
Some smart person once said
"It is when good people stand by, and do nothing ..."
the difference between that guy and me, is I do the math, and say, those weren’t good people they just thought they were
Words Funny and mysterious things words are
Either Hollywood is the voice of the world Or it is not But they don’t get to pick and chose For whatever “works for them” at whatever moment in time
That is akin to standing for nothing
and really, this may seem like attack but it is a holy lesson because when you don't use your power correctly someone else, will come up from behind, and take it from you
because Jesus wants work done ... PERIOD and that is the last time, I will pull the Jesus card.
today, i feel sick drinking the tea doesn't feel good anymore
i also have one video i want to share THE FIFTH MOST IMPORTANT VIDEO ON YOUTUBE i have seen "an insult to life itself" this one video, explains me, and my entire website, in 2 minutes and 20 seconds but maybe because he is an old man, and established, people will listen ... and not just call him a bitch
Johnathon Elijah Cho, the old soul - ent, who calls me a Disney Princess was the one who showed this video to me as I am not alone ...
JAN 26 2019 tHE DEVIL
so you know you are hungry when you look at the puking pastilles at starbucks and think, yeah, that looks good!
so simon called me yesterday it was cute, he was concerned i was stepping out of my mastery i had to put his erroneous thoughts to ease and let him understand that i am having fun here and yesterday, i walked all around town, to create the city tour guide for all the celebs who intend to participate
it is kind of amazing how much weight i have lost but this might be why: here is my walking diary i will add it to the top title each day JAN 17 - the lovers | 5.4 miles JAN 18 - the chariot | 3.2 miles JAN 19 - strength | 8.4 miles JAN 20 - the hermit | 5.8 miles JAN 21 - the wheel | 5 miles JAN 22 - justice | 8.2 miles JAN 23 - the hanged man | 5.6 miles JAN 24 - death | 10.3 miles (when i walked all around town) JAN 25 - temperance | 4.5 miles JAN 26 - the devil | 5.4 milesand counting ...
i guess as a homeless person, you end up walking a lot ... everywhere actually
so right now, i am like kate mara skinny, instead of lindsey lohan skinny just remember, i went to art school, and i know how to make fun of you all
i wonder how many of you, are adding up the miles to see how many calories i have burned so you know how much time you have ... i had to tell simon what the game of chicken was ... those posh london guys apparently don't know
NOW ON NAMES
i was told i should put the dalai lama part up here, but alas, i like to keep my article in tact
Names are funny You can control someone with a name You can make fun of them Put them down Lift them up Names are for avatars
Like Yogananda People don’t say “Mukunda, who calls himself Yogagnanda." And then continue to refer to him as Mukunda ... They call him Yogananda ...
I am of course referring to the first article about me in the costal news I am glad for the press believe me I am And grateful too But I am not Rachel Grayner Rachel Grayner died awhile ago I am Kali Ren like a snake that shed its skin
Rachel Grayner was the girl who was abused And everyone had forgotten about And no one cared about And no listened to And totally left her behind
I am Kali Ren I am the spiritual teacher I am the guru The master The ninja saint
Kali Ren is my spiritual name It was given to me In a sacred ceremony
Like the name Paramahansa Yogananda was given to Yogananda
You will refer to me as Kali Or miss Kali Ren But not Rachel that name is saved only for friends and family Rachel is the dead girl Kali Ren is the phoenix that can do this that can succeed that can free willy
Rachel was the name of a sacrificed lamb And I am no longer her I have already been sacrificed Now I sit in purgatory Waiting to be reborn On the beach In public In front of everyone And these are my trials
It is funny when you take on the name of a deity Some people think it to be wise Other people think it is arrogant
But I don’t I think it is a responsibility I am a servant of Kali Nothing more Nothing less A human representative of Kali And what Kali stood for And who Kali is
And she is not nice But she is divine She is a warrior And a mother And a priestess A teacher And a saint And a demon slayer
And when you address me as Kali You are addressing her Out of respect and reverence And that is how the spiritual world works
I am Kali Ren
And that is my name
Unless I can call Dalai Lama ... Tenzin But that would be very avatar Korra of me He should learn that reference
JAN 25 2019 tEMPERANCE ...
So the sag awards are coming up I never really cared much for award shows But my life might depend on this one And the whales might depend on it too
I always imagine what they talk about over the table I sat at a table with Elijah Wood once And his friends And his production company For an award brunch It was a weekend event I was there for the whole weekend
They were mostly drunken idiots, and fools Completely full of themselves But Elijah did mention GOT Loudly over the table And I took notice
And so, like a good girl, I checked it out When I went back home It was hard to digest All the violence and womanizing But I tried to look past it And I thought: “is this all?” Is this what our society values today? Glamorizes still ... But I kept an open mind And then was pleasantly surprised ...
Sometimes art is about process and time Just like Hollywood And the celebrities They haven’t shown up They haven’t reached out Is this all they value?
But I will keep an open mind
And I wonder if their conversation over the reward table will involve me, or the whales
Or if I will be the silent white elephant Frozen and starving on the beach Waiting for them to show up
While they wine and dine In their fancy costumes And pretty make up jobs And new plastic surgery Or new diamond jewelry Or their newly borrowed jewelry
I will be their white elephant
This fitting for the day of Temperance The angel of balance Sent to the world The one who can trick the devil The one who is fast enough, pure enough, Compassionate enough, smart enough
The angel of temperance Pride nor vanity has no place here
JAN 24 2019 dEATH
this was the best day ever! i got word that the news picked up my story link here and i got my first email of support a local woman to offer her shower, and laundry it was awesome
i get energy from two sources good news and excitement, and RAGE and today, in my fit of excitement and high positive energy i walked all around town for all the celebrities who will be gracing this party because at the very least, i am nothing but the best personal assistant and gracious host HERE IS MY PAGE FOR THEM on the little beach city of carlsbad
spoke with press agent will be making moves soon ...
... and here is my entry for today
So the first night I spent on this new trial spot it worked 1) it was still fucking cold but not freezing 2) it was hard the ground was hard I would wake up feeling like I had slept on a brick
today I am going to go look for something to solve the hard problem with the 100$ my sister gave me hopefully it will only cost 20$ but last night was the first time I slept like a normal human I will try it again hopefully it will keep working
My photography teacher in art school always quoted the famous photographer Robert Capa "if your pictures aren't good enough, you aren't close enough" i think this applies to life too my teacher also liked to say "It is better to ask for forgiveness than ask for permission"
I am going to go with this teaching in regards to my new shelter solution... i think that is a wise lesson
so, maybe I can solve the cold problem too I wish I hadn’t left my long underwear and most of my ski gear with my mom
at least I have my brand new fancy ski coat from last year ... and the REI gloves I did love those glove liners
so instead of getting ready to plop down on the beach in exhaustion now, at 10 am I am up and ready to face the day and I think I am going to pull out GOT or something I will keep my normal WiFi and computer charging hours from 4-830
but I will hop locations like normal I meet people that way
as we really shouldn’t be on technology for longer than 4 hours anyway
I look skinnier In my face I just remember people like Rachel Bilson and the Olsen twins And remember, I can get thinner and It’s okay
I am Hollywood glamour thin right now perfect and I am wearing my amber necklace that David Brestel gave me my hipster wool hat to keep my head warm
all I need now, is to have a clove cigarette lit in my hand, and I would just look like an artist
been there done that no smoking for me
I am not allowed to make a sound at night much less fucking cough
waiting for celebs so there is this cool hotel here Carlsbad Inn right on the beach you all can stay there and plug in your juicers and we can sit by the fire place on the giant private patio it is perfect it is a 200$-300$ a night hotel, overlooking the water
most of you have never been to Carlsbad beach my aunt married into wealth they have a beach house here imagine that I am laying in the freezing sand trying to sleep wet and damp afraid of being attacked and my aunt's in-laws have a fucking mansion here I don’t even remember which one is there’s or how far up the beach it is I think it is north of the fairy development (you will see)
I just remember it being brown and three stories and wood maybe they sold it I don’t know ...
but this beach is nice it is pretty and clean and for the most part private I take 5 mile walks on this beach because of the quiet and I don’t like people much
it is calm and peaceful like Santa Monica in the dead of winter at night, 2 am in the morning I know what that is like I used to live there I lived right next door to Shutters on the beach one of my favorite places to live It was a small dirty hole in the wall I called it a closet but I know how to nest and make lemonade
I painted and fixed it up and it was cozy and gorgeous and mine and only $534 a month on the ocean yes, rent control, for poor people yes, there were crack addicts that lived in the building but I am cool I smoked a pack of cloves, a day, back then and lived off of photoshop, adderall, and caramel machiattos, and white rice sweet sugary white rice, and oatmeal yeah, we didn’t have kitchens 534 = no kitchen
and I would sit on the rooftop of that brick building climbed the fire escape 3 Vicente terrace and I would watch the water In the dead of night smoking my clove and eating Mac and Cheese from swingers, with chopsticks with a side order of steamed broccoli
that was my favorite meal It was so good and back then, they had cupcakes that were the bomb I liked the vanilla one
and then the pier got that blinding Ferris Wheel that you could see 10 miles away gross not cool looks like an acid trip like cheap Vegas came to Santa Monica and took a dump ... at the end of the peir all the locals were furious all of them
but it did have this cool blue dolphin design It’s only redeeming factor ... BUT NOT ENOUGH!
and remember how I said this apartment was mine? it wasn’t I was subletting it takes years to get a rent controlled apt in Santa Monica Years!!!! if you even get approved ... but my friend Brianna made that happen that girl is cool she is a mover and shaker and totally off her rocker too she worked at swingers diner and was my creative partner in college and after college I had no home so she invited me to move in to her shithole and it was the two of us living in a closet and getting invited to go out to fancy places for free in Hollywood at night because we were hot brianna was hotter than me because I gained weight in college and she lost it but I was still cute we went to the Leno show Twice sat in the front row Twice got onstage Twice talked to Jay Leno Twice He didn’t remember us We had to remind him (guests were Matthew Perry and Sarah Paulson, i don't remember who else)
Jay Leno was funny On TV right?
Corny, but kind of funny ... not in real life in real like he was hilarious the best part of his show was before the cameras were turned on I loved seeing that I love knowing that people don’t know that
Just like people don’t know that Jeff Goldblum loves to play piano at Rockwell and my opera singer girlfriend got to sing with him these are the things that are cool in life and nobody really knows about them my other apartment neighbor Veronica sang with him also, I believe, unless she was lying ...
anyway, so on Brianna I called her huckabreeze she loves the movie I heart huckabees that became a cult favorite of ours "There is glass between us brad!!!"
but she wanted out of this LA shit-hole town and to go to NYC and really make it I was more a Hollywood type, movies, story-telling she was different walked to a different beat faster, edgier and she left ... she left me alone she became like my best friend like a sister and she left me alone, abandoned me and left me her apartment I never had parking I had to fake that too those Santa Monica parking passes are hard to fake but I did it, i figured out a way I also got over 600$ in tickets poor people suck
I had no real job yet I had a couple freelance projects coming in and so I donated eggs because I had to pay for my 534$ rent and I was fresh out of art school I did it through Beverly Hills Egg Donation
I think I have about 8 kids out there in 3 different families unless they broke our agreement and gave my eggs to others I donated 4 times those kids are going to have weirdo DNA artists, psychics, weirdos I am afraid for them they may be around 10-11 years old now
I am not ashamed that I did that but I am ashamed I thought it wouldn’t matter like I was separate from them because I didn’t birth them because I didn't raise them that it was “just” my DNA i am just their "genetic mother" like that means nothing
because that is what everyone else believed and I listened and followed suit but in the shaman world, your blood matters you are connected to your ancestors, your bloodlines
like me apparently Davy Crockett is mine he looks just like all my aunts “True American Hero” fought for native american's rights died fighting against the Mexicans I hope he was a good man I obvi can’t speak for the Alamo I wasn’t there
King of the Wild Frontier I have that DNA The DNA of a pioneer, with all the good and bad that came with it
my egg kids are going to be fucking weird and perhaps really cool hopefully some day I can meet them and make them proud and love them
I hope they would be proud of me i think about that some times and if I was just “craZy” and everyone just thought I was out of my mind I could still love the shit out of them, anyway like a mama like I do with my nieces ...
one of the families I donated to, was two gay men I was proud to do that and there was a surrogate mother who hosted the fertilized eggs and birthed them into the world talk about team work
I hope my egg children are safe I hope they all have good families and people who love them in their life I hope they are treated well and if they aren’t and I succeed I will fucking come after them like a mama ...
they are dragons, and to me, they have Targaryen DNA and I leave no dragon behind
when I try to meditate on them when I look at them psychically there is always just the one who is more sensitive and having a tough time like he/she is being left behind I wish I knew if he/she was a girl, but I always imagine a boy
like having the sensitivity and depth of a goth child an outcast and intelligent and sweet
I have had this vision for years ... ever since leaving Starr’s
I want to make them okay I want to tell them I love them
I don’t regret donating my eggs I regret not being able to find them and not being able to take responsibility for them I regret not knowing their names or being able to hug them so I send love and light instead like a douchebag
because really.. what if they look like me?!? or think like me?!?
there is paper between us ... and lawyers ...
and really what if they are psychic kids that everyone just wants to medicate or fix?!???
... AVOCADOS I love avocados my favorite food, probably that and Mac and Cheese you can juice an avocado you know
hint hint ... help fatten me up not sure about Mac and Cheese though the best Mac and cheese I found, since swingers are two different ones
One is at Rays stark bar at LACMA 8$ little iron dish crumbly top 5 cheese Mac It is perfect
And AMY’S Organic that I can bake in my oven it is really good I like the original flavor and then sprinkle scorpion salt or gunpowder salt on top and put it on a bed of fresh baby arugula or again steamed broccoli
I like that That was dinner a lot of the time before this strike inexpensive and gave me some fat to ingest and the cheese chemical reactions in my brain to calm me down I forget what that is called but cheese effects the brain a lot like heroine
like how sugar effects the brain like cocaine, I believe
so yesterday was the farmers market where all the celebrities will buy the produce for my juice that or imperfect produce, being delivered
because we are supporting businesses that need press and support
1) An organic family farm that has been in their family for 5 generations 2) And imperfect produce which is a company about teaching people to not waste
both of these companies need press and support yes the celebs can go elsewhere but these will be the primary businesses that I want to personally endorse also the bone broth guy and prager bros bakery and the bitchn sauce company all at the farmers market and they are so good ...
and imperfect produce will deliver every non-farmers-market-day, day of the week
there is a Ralph’s down the street on Avenida Encinas, with good produce and Vons on tamarack is okay ...
The Ralph’s is next to a fish market Called Pelly's Pelly's Fish Market the pictures on their website don't do it justice It is my mother's favorite and mine too the best fish I have ever had in my life Fresh and it has just been renovated for all you celebs I like the fish plates, blackened style with the rice and salad side but see, that is the only recommendation I can give you
I can’t tell which fish to get that depends on the day because I have this magick talent where I see what glows and looks good for the day I see the fish that is the best the one that glows the one that tastes the freshest the most divine ...
I also recommend the chowders but you might want to add a little tabasco sauce ... princess and the frog style
It is about 90% accurate this magick talent of mine and I usually love every glowing meal I choose but Sometimes things glow ... because I need the nutrients in my body and so it doesn’t taste good
the sun is going away it is stating to get cold and I will be on the phone with Simon soon
but the water is sparkling today and it looks like silver glitter
and people have left the beach except for one man next to me ... in a wheel chair and his entourage they made an entire makeshift path so that he could enjoy the shoreline pretty cool
today, I preparing like a proper hostess
JAN 23 2019 tHE HANGED MAN
so I have this toe and it has this blister on it and this blister is deep and hurts a lot
this blister is like a boil blister let me explain you know the difference between a zit and a boil? That that is this blister I had to get out my army ceramic death knife and cut into my skin so deep to pop this blister and let out the fluid I know how to pop things and let me tell you ... this was deep
I did this yesterday before walking 5 miles to laundry
Thank God today this blister is dried up
I can only see a little bit of the knife wound I would have made a great surgeon
I have lost some weight my thighs don’t touch anymore AT ALL not even with two pairs of pants on that has never happened also my breasts don’t fall out of my bra at all
This is the best diet ever!!!
that is a joke, but I have to keep a good sense of humor
It was so cold last night I ended up on the abandoned patio of an outdoor restaurant with good lighting and shady corners to hide in but it was so cold
I wanted to fall asleep but I had this nagging thought that someone might wake me up but I curled up in my light olive green sleeping bag and an hour later I woke up to a truck pulling up on the street I forgot that fish people get their product in the middle of the night the men politely ignored me as they opened the freezer doors next to where i was sleeping and distributed the next days product meal
but I was ashamed so I jumped out of the sleeping bag and threw it over my knees instead like it was a blanket and pretended to read game of thrones Page 2 btw... reading about the knights-watch men, being in the cold, doesn’t fucking help me so ... I just looked at the words on the page instead and prayed that the food guys would leave soon ...
it was weird what shame does to us normally i would just smile i wouldn't even have flinched it is like i am trying to hide something like i am embarrassed that i am homeless that i am embarrassed ...
maybe because no hollywood people have shown up not yet and i am trying to hide it what if i just proudly owned my new homeless get up? what if i just said, this is me, FUCK IT
i think i may have found a new solution to being out there in the cold trying it out tonight but i need to get there on time
part 2 okay super excited i think this is the best news all night long and definitely this week i am trying out this solution i will not reveal it, because it isn't a strong solution and i don't want to undermine my intelligence by outing myself but i am hidden and safe and out of the cold and i want to cry i hope this goes well and i hope i can continue this i may sleep outside on warmer nights but if it is 52 or below, i won't make it not with my calories dropping and it is hard to carry all my extra blankets around to the beach it would be different if it was like a permanent camp site but i am a walking vagrant, so i can't do that
you will laugh when you see my solution and how i ended up using my bike lock i am sad that i couldn't bring my bike it was beautiful a brand new firmstrong lady urban cruiser bright red with white tire rims with no stickers a big black seat and a perfectly matching bell and i had so much fun riding it on the beach the first time i rode it, i said to myself: "just this ride, was worth the $300 i paid for the bike"
it is with the rest of my stuff at my friends house now
but i was psychically instructed to take the bike lock still weird i didn't know why the bike lock is heavy and adds extra weight and my backpack like weighed 60 lbs but i am beginning to learn how to listen to my intuition NOW I KNOW WHY!!!! now i know why i needed my bike lock
i wish i could show you all, now but i am hidden and want to stay that way you know, until hollywood decides to participate but finally, i feel safe and finally i feel like i can sleep with two eyes shut
i actually want to cry with gratitude
this morning i got my period actually yesterday i got my period but i changed my tampon in the public rest room this morning this has not really happened in my life normally i am at home, near the shower
and as i was cleaning myself up it looked like a murder scene all over my hands blood dripping every which way and i thought well great ... now i can look like a murderer too !
thought you would like that story
i also went to the psychic shop today THE MYSTICAL DRAGON
there is really nothing mystical nor dragon about it other than the name and the cheap resin statues of dragons in it dragons would be ashamed dragons are fans of HIGH QUALITY not kitsch
but i was looking at all the psychics, and the people in the store and i thought WOW wtf !?!?! most of these people need to be told very simple things GET OVER YOURSELF EAT HEALTHY GET SOME EXERCISE you know, common sense shit but they are going to pay 100$+ for some half-trained psychic to tell them a lot of bullshit that they didn't need to know and they won't pay me a dime to tell them what they need to hear
and i could give them an effective tarot reading really, the reading is only as good as the interpretation of the cards you know, like sunglasses ...